11 Hilarious Kids Statements

  • Can you be quiet please, I’m trying to play with my subconscious up here said by my 5 year old son (Fiona G)
  • I can’t wear trousers with a zip because the zip looks at me (Anna K)
  • Mummy, I imagine that when I eat the food uses my throat as a slide, then when it gets to my tummy they all sit and watch the cinema and watch the movie about me eating inside my tummy, then when I poop that’s just the food parachuting back out again, and when I have a bad tummy that’s just the poop wanting to parachute super quick! (Lisa H)
  • When I grow up, I want to be a circus. A clown circus so I can throw pie in the clowns face (Nikita-Jane C)
  • My son was reading the care label in his jumper ….. stay away from fire and naked females (Kate L)



  • Mummy why does my willy make water ? (Nioami W)
  • Mummy? You know Cornwall? Well does it have toilets? (Jo Mc)
  • Oh my god, turkey is a bird? Mam you can’t make me eat a bird for tea……I’ll have chicken instead (Danielle R)
  • My then 3 year old son was dawdling along and I told him to pick up the pace, He stopped dead in his tracks, started looking high and low and said ‘I can’t find it (Clare K)
  • My then 3 year old was talking to me when I was showering while heavily pregnant,  She pointed to my pubic hair and asked “Is that the baby’s hair? (Jo P)
  • Mummmmm … you said you’d make me crumpets. I know I shouldn’t be doing this to you on your birthday. But just because it’s your birthday, that doesn’t mean you get all the glory, does it? I still have needs. And one of those needs is CRUMPETS! (Laureyn B)

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